finding rest.

I am tired. How about now? Yep, still tired.

Last night I stayed up until 5AM doing research for my term paper for one of my classes. Isn't it funny how after you're done the research you feel like you're done the paper? But I actually have nothing written down right now, so if I were to hand that in- um, well, I can't really hand it in. There's nothing, haha. Gotta get writing.

But isn't this how most of us feel sometimes? We just keep going and going and going, yet it feels like nothing is getting done. We're tired. And boy am I tiiiired.

I need to learn to find rest.

A friend recently shared this article on rest. The message that stuck out to me the most is that Man is not sovereign, only God is.

So here's to finding rest and trusting in an almighty God.

red cross, quebec and the cross.

So I don't know if this bothers me, or if I just find it very curious.

Most countries have a red cross society and some countries have red crescent societies. I had no idea until I went to the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) HQ in Geneva. Lots of Muslim countries have adopted the red crescent because they believe that the red cross is promoting Christianity and wanted their own symbol (though it isn't really? I don't think the red cross is or ever was a faith-based organization). And now the ICRC they have introduced a religiously neutral symbol - the red crystal (though personally crystals remind me of gypsies and fortune tellers.. tarot and other crazy things, but whatever hahaha).

And in Quebec they are trying to ban all religious symbols in public service. I don't know if this was a weird backwards attack on burkas by banning all symbols or if they are just really anti-religion and want to affirm that you shouldn't impose your beliefs on others.. either way, it was unsettling, though the motion hasn't pass yet. I also find it interesting because all I ever learned in elementary/middle/high school history is that Quebec was historically a largely Catholic province. Not sure what other people learn in history, but I was in french immersion.. we learned a lot about Nouvelle-France, haha.

Quebec worries me. When I think of evangelism and think of people who don't know Jesus, my mind automatically goes to India and I think of the injustices of the caste system. I don't know if it's because I've read a lot about India and heard a lot of missionaries talk about India, or what. But then I realize that it's both worldwide and locally that people don't know Jesus. Churches in Quebec are being transformed into community centres because nobody wants to go to church anymore. That makes me cry. I want to plant myself in these other communities. And obviously I do know that there are people who don't know Christ all over.. I see it in my own family. But as Matt Chandler so eloquently puts it, I need to be where I am and take it seriously if my heart really does ache for those who don't know Christ.

Anyway. I wonder what the cross really means to me. It's gotta be more than a symbol or a piece of jewelry that I wear. I can't just carry my bible around for show. If they took away the symbols of my faith, what would I have? Well, I would still have the cross. I would still have Jesus. I would still have my faith. This song, one of my faves.

All this makes me think of China and their thriving but dangerous underground churches and the like. So yes, it bothers me a lot that people will fight any kind of religious expression, but I know that God works regardless.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. -Hebrews 10:23

health and human rights conference at @queensu.

This past weekend, I went to the Health and Human Rights Conference at my school. It was a neat experience, and best of all, it was free! If you are around the area next year around this time, I would totally recommend that you check it out.

Warning: this is a long wordy post.. more about each of the talks after the break.

let's run!

Last week, I ran. That in itself is an accomplishment! For reals! I don't run, it gives me stitches, I feel like I can't breathe, and it just makes me want to lie on the road and die there. That is a bit of an exaggeration, but you can see what I'm getting at here..

But for the National Public Servants Week, Health Canada organized a 10K relay of 5x2K runs. I signed myself up on my office team, and figured that 2K is very doable and is a good place to start! I ran with my coworkers who are way more fit than I am (which is sad because I am half the age of some of them). I run on treadmills, but road running is so much more different than in the gym. The treadmill paces me, and I can totally zone out and have no idea how far I've run so I can typically keep going. But on the road, somehow 2K felt more like a marathon.

Here's the team, getting ready to run in the rain!

So, I know 2K is not a very amazing distance, but to me, it is something. I participated in my first run, and I am so proud that I challenged myself!

Slow and steady wins the race. As long as I finish, I am happy. Here's to the start of my running career!

a change of plans.. for the better!!

Oh wow.

Not too long ago, I went through my blog to clean it up, and fix some broken links and I stumbled across this post from last year. Wow. First of all, it's super vague. But because I know what I was talking about (muahahaha), it makes for a really interesting reflection activity.

At about this time last year, I had just finished my first year of university. It was both an amazing experience, but also the toughest, most lonely and trying period of my life. I studied general sciences in my first year and to be completely honest, I finished the year super stressed out and crying to my mom almost every day (exaggeration, as I only talk to my mom once a week). In short, I was not doing well in my classes, nor was I enjoying them.

In any case, I had lost sight of what I wanted to do, why I was at university, and what my overall direction was. With the support of my mom, I started exploring many many different schooling options, unsure of my intention to return to Queen's.

One of my top options in terms of interests, was the Graphic Communications Management program at Ryerson.. seriously, sounds so cool! It's a mix of graphic design/communications and business. The one thing that I truly loved in high school was working on the yearbook, where I was the creative and layout editor. And I follow so many design blogs it's not even funny. Graphic design is something I have little experience in, but something I definitely want to explore as a hobby. (Sidenote: Last summer I got to shadow the graphic design team at Health Canada, where I was working. They create all the graphics you see, from brochures, to banners, to website buttons, etc etc etc. I actually got to see the new cigarette pack labels before they were released. The ones that cover 50% of the packaging? Yep. I learned a lot!!)

And other than that, I was also considering Health Science/Business Major/Minor, or a degree in Communications at uOttawa.

But you know what? After taking a good mix of health and business courses this year, I discovered that business is NOT for me. However, health certainly is. I fell in love with my courses, and the only thing I care to read about in the news deals with health policies and certain interesting socioeconomic links to health. That's what I'm interested in.

Looking back, something I can clearly see is how much I've been growing in my faith. I can really see how God used my situation to direct me to where I am now. He drew me into my community and family at my fellowship in Kingston, where I found a place I could grow. For that, I am so grateful. In the past two years, I have gained so much more than I ever could without Him. It is with much difficulty, but much joy and relief that I have been praying and trusting that God will lead me to find something that I am truly passionate about, willing to spend my time doing and above all, aligns with God's will and desire for me. Praise the Lord for that!

And so, I chose to change my plan from Biology (I took zero biology courses last year, hahaha!) to Health Studies. It means that I have to take a fifth year of undergrad, but that is totally fine. I'd way rather take an extra year of something I like, than finish on time studying something I don't like. I applied to change programs almost a month ago now, and it was supposed to take 10 days to process, but now 24 days later (so long!), I've been accepted!!

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!!

(Thanks to everyone and anyone who has put up with my stress, complaining, whining, lack of emotion or whatever as I tried to figure out my life a little. It's been a weird journey, but we're here and ready to roll. Thank you for all the support!)

vision, glasses and laser eye surgery?!

I had an optometrist appointment last week, and I am happy to confirm that my eyes are healthy, haha, yay! My optometrist did mention something interesting though. He told me that since my vision is starting to stabilize and not change so much, I can start thinking about laser eye surgery.

Hold up... laser eye surgery?!?! Uhhhhhhhhhhh, okay. I have never thought about it as a reality for me. It has always existed as something that other people do, but never me. I have pretty bad vision (-6 to -7) so I can't even imagine how amazing it would be to see clearly again without glasses or contact lenses.. wow! But it sounds kind of scary... lasers? Eyes? I don't know anything about laser eye surgery. Would you go for laser eye surgery?

On another note though, it is time I update my glasses. They are about 3-4 years old and the prescription is pretty off. Ever since I got contacts, I have stopped wearing my glasses regularly. My eyes dry out quickly while wearing contacts but I don't really have the option of wearing my glasses anywhere except around the house because I can't see things too clearly from far away. I tried wearing them to class last year but couldn't read anything on the screen at the front of the lecture theatre.

I've been looking at glasses from ClearlyContacts.ca. These look nice!



I put in my prescription, and since these glasses qualify for the free first pair deal, the total would come to about $65. Sounds good! Oh, this is the price without the coating options. I don't think I've ever gotten any additional coatings before (Anti-Reflection, Scratch Resistance, and UV Protection). Do they really make a difference? I am also a little worried about ordering glasses online. It's weird ordering something so important from an online retailer. Thoughts?

I got my current pair of glasses from Costco, and I am pretty satisfied. I will probably try to go to Costco with my dad next week to check out their glasses and see if there is anything there I like.

cucoh.

This past weekend, I attended a conference on healthcare that was run at my school. It is called the Canadian Undergraduate Conference on Healthcare, or just CUCOH.

I've always wanted to find a career that has something to do with health and healthcare. For as long as I can remember, I always thought that meant I would have to study science, so that I did. I entered university last year to study science, but somewhere along the way I have changed my mind. I am now in the process of figuring out where I want to be in terms of health. I am leaning more towards the social aspects of health. Ultimately, I think both the social and medical perspectives are shifting towards dealing with upstream roots (the causes) rather than downstream solutions (bandages on symptoms), which is good since upstream methods tend to be more effective.

What I thought was great about this weekend was that although most of the people I met were studying science and were for the most part intending on becoming doctors, the presentations and speakers addressed a wide range of topics. It really got me thinking about technology in health, genetics in health, health in a global perspective, and the future of health. There is more to health than meets the eye! It not only confirmed what I have been discovering this past year, but also introduced so many different ideas for me to think about.

By far, my favourite thing was the discussion panel. There was a panel of experts and we were able to ask questions and have the panelists discuss the questions and issues brought up. I submitted a question, but unfortunately it wasn't touched. I was interested to know how we can trust governments and big agencies to make decisions for us, if they can be bought out by corporations? That sounds very vague, but it is happening. The FDA has approved products like Truvia and aspartame that have absolutely no benefit to our health, and are in fact dangerous. So, how can we trust them? I don't think there is a right answer, but I was actually very interested to hear the opinion of an economist and a politician. Oh well.

On top of CUCOH being a great learning experience for me, my friend Tiff came up for the weekend (for the conference) and we got to hang out and catch up.. it was so nice!

Here we are at the banquet. It's always fun to get dressed up. Also, isn't the pen on the left the coolest thing ever?? Yeah, it's a pen in the shape of a syringe!

get variety in your diet.

Remember back in elementary school, how you used to eat the same turkey and cheese sandwich everyday, all year? Or at least, I did. I really love routine. Routine is what drives me. I love knowing what is coming, and it's just very easy for me to fall into a regular rhythm of eating and doing the same thing, all the time. Routine, to a certain extent, can be good! But in terms of eating, having the same sandwich everyday is not helping your nutrition in any way.

Get some variety into your diet. It will give both your mind and your body a workout.

It is not only beneficial because you will have the opportunity to get more nutrients in your body because of the increased variety of foods you stick in your body, but it will also turn on the creativity in your brain and you will surely discover new ways to eat things!

I'm on a bit of a health kick right now.. and by that I don't mean I'm on some new mega fancy diet, I mean I am kicking myself for not being healthy.

Ultimately, I would love to have a beach bod by the time I go to Mexico this winter (YEAH! I'm going to MEXICO!! I can't wait!!). But realistically, I just want to start feeling better, and more energized. It is proven that healthier people are happier people. I want to be a happy person too!

More exercise, healthier food, and more variety are all on my list of things to do.

All this is said while I'm eating instant noodles, and drinking a glass of apple juice. I have much to change in my eating habits.