what are you crying over?

Yes. I am writing about crying. This is kind of a weird topic for a post, but it’s in response to these two posts from Trevin Wax: I Weep for Miley and Further Thoughts.

Someone asked him if he was actually weeping, and he said yes, he did actually weep. So that got me thinking about what I weep for. You know that expression “there’s no use crying over spilt milk”? Am I crying over spilt milk? What am I crying over?

I used to cry all the time.. #girlproblems. You could set me off with anything emotionally charged. Honestly, you still can, though I cry a lot less than I used to. A secret pastime of mine is watching sappy movies and crying my way through them. And now you know!

The last time I cried was when I visited Jethro to celebrate my birthday with him and he gave me a necklace for my birthday. Now, it isn’t the necklace that made me cry, but what he said. He told me that the cross on the necklace should serve as a reminder to always look to Jesus on the cross. Our relationship is and will continue to have its challenges but the cross is a continual reminder for us. A reminder of who we are as Christians and that it is God at the centre of our relationship. This made me cry because I was simultaneously looking forward to the necklace (which I “didn’t know about” but secretly or not-so-secretly did know about) while also not wanting to get a present for the sake of presents (they really are silly). But this bold reminder was what I needed. Jesus gave me everything when He died on the cross - that's the best present ever!

The last time I broke down sobbing was a weekend last spring where nothing was going right- er, I mean, nothing was going my way. You know those “WHY MEE???” moments? That’s what I was going through. But that weekend also came at such an opportune time. Our fellowship was running what we call an Iron Chef night where we cook food to feed each other and our friends, and we put on skits that illustrate the Gospel. And the next day, a bunch of my friends were getting baptized at church and they shared their testimonies of where they’ve been and how God has come into their lives. All the while, I was having the worst few weeks, and throwing myself a huge pity party. The reminder of the Gospel was so loud and clear that weekend. I broke down and let the tears stream down my face. It was a reminder to not get caught up in my own life and to be constantly preaching the Gospel to myself!

So yes, my tears are what we like to call Jesus tears. I wouldn’t say my tears are only Jesus tears now - I’ll probably still cry if I watch a sappy movie. But for the most part, I cry when I am moved. And I am most moved by my Saviour. I cannot stress how amazing it is that Jesus took on my sin and became my sacrificial lamb, dying on that cross so I could live an eternal life with God. Jesus’ death and resurrection move me in a way that nothing else can.